I have 5 children, three girls (18, 12, and 3), and two boys (13 & 10). We have lived in many houses, and there have been many different room arrangements. It seems that in every home at least 2 of the children end up sharing a room.
If your children have ever shared a room, you know all about sibling rivalry! You also know there are specific needs for these rooms. Children need space that allows them to grow as individuals; they also need a bit of privacy. And, so much depends on the ages of the children involved! How can you fit all those needs into one small space?
According to feng shui principles the very best arrangement would be to have a bedroom space that is used only for sleeping and dressing, and a ‘play room’ that contains all of the toys, games, books, etc. It is actually considered better to have two children share a ‘sleep room’ and then to have a ‘play room’ than to have two children with bedrooms containing toys and non-sleep related items. For many families, especially those living in high-density, smaller homes, this is just not feasible. So, what do we do?
The biggest job here will be to edit down the extraneous stuff of childhood. Removing everything except the things that are needed, used and loved. The less that is in this shared space, the better. One child contains a lot of energy, and two children more than double that, (I don’t exactly know why that is, considering I am mathematically challenged, but I know it is a fact!)
Once you’ve scaled back, it is time to do some planning. Take into consideration the age, personality and lifestyle issues of each child and find a balanced compromise for the décor. If the room is small, one of the worst things you can do is to ‘divide’ the room and create two different decorating styles. It may seem cool to the kids at first, but it will never attain a calm, tranquil, balanced feel that is needed in the bedroom. Watch out for ‘fighting symbols’ or hostile, angry or even sad and depressing artwork or images. This can lead to a tension between the children.
Choose calm, soft, muted colors and yin material such as wicker baskets to hold the miscellaneous stuff that children keep. This is even MORE important than if it was just a single child’s room. The goal is to keep the room from feeling chaotic, restless, and tense. Children are very susceptible to energy and will begin to experience those feelings very quickly if the room is not balanced.
A power clash between siblings is very common. Here are some simple ways to keep the peace. First, try to ensure that the head of one child’s bed is not aligned with the other child’s feet. This symbolizes the one child having all of the power and being able to literally ‘walk all over’ the other. Also, make sure that both beds are the same size. Having one child sleeping in a single and the other in a double is considered very bad. Try to keep the room energetically balanced. This may include hanging the same number of pictures in each child’s area, or making sure that both have the same lighting options. Keep their space in the closet similar even if they are of different ages and have different needs. This shows respect for their ability to change and grow without being held back.
Another important factor in keeping the energy of the bedroom ‘yin’ is to resolve poison arrows. Make sure that there are no sharp angles crossing across the beds OR dividing the two beds as this symbolizes a significant split.
Lastly, show them lots of love so that they learn to honor the family unit as well as their pesty brothers!